No! That's not true! That's impossible!

Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are related, or so says Lynn Cheney.

Ah hahahahaha!

"Obviously, Dick Cheney is the black sheep of the family," Obama spokesman Bill Burton said.

Ah hahahahaha, again. Stop it! I've got tears in my eyes. Oh God, I can't wait for the late-night talk-show pundits to run with this one.

Dark Lord of the GOP, Dick Vader appears to be going through some kind of post-menopausal life-changing event. It began in August of 2004, when he and and his wife, Padame, ur, eh, sorry, Lynne Cheney broke with the President over the issue of gay marriage. Up to that point, his gay daughter, Mary, seemed to causing a massive disturbance in the Neo-Conservative Force, then suddenly Dick is all "Mary, I am your faaaather!" This has caused the Emperor no end of grief.

What's next? What other dark (heh heh) secrets is the paragon of conservative values hiding? Can we expect pictures of him marching in a San Fransisco Gay Pride rally? (And if my media server, which is where I kept my copy of Photoshop, was up and running such a picture would surface here and now. Stupid static electricity) Has he been doing a little quail hunting around certain airport restrooms? Will NSA data mining of his phone records show repeated clandestine calls to Cindy Sheehan? Who else is he related to? Jesse Jackson? Louis Farrakhan? Or gasp, Bill Clinton? The world waits and wonders.

How embarrassing. For Barack, I mean.